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new class

i went to my first family2family class last night at nami. it was so cool and i'm really excited to be going. it is a class for families of people with mental illness. i think i'm the only one there for a spouse, mostly there are parents there for their kids. one guy has a brother that he is there for.
it was just the first of 12 classes and it was mostly "hi my name is..." and "this is what we will be covering...."
the one thing that really was nice was this page that had two columns. one had behaviors that will diminish as the illness progresses, and the other was behaviors that may increase. now, dude is pretty not severe, but it was so weird to go down the list and tick off so many things that can be attributed to his illness. i think it will help knowing the difference between what is the illness and not him being a jerk. there are so many things....
i know they won't go away, but at least i can say that i know he is not being mean on purpose.
he changed meds last week. it seems to be pretty good. he was taking something that was making him a zombie... and then something that tried to make him awake. but it made him more agitated and unhappy. so now he is trying something new. at least he is sleeping and waking up well.

other wise life is the same. things are pretty good. work is fine. just signed up for netflix. i'm pretty excited to get our first disks. i was trying to not load it up with too much classic who yet.

so thanks for listening.

Oct. 20th, 2009

i'm tired and my head hurts.
i went to a women's study/ kickoff for our women's group at church. the leader was talking about friends. she passed out a card and told us to write down three to six of our closest friends. girlfriends who we trust and who we can tell anything. you know what i wrote? .... anyone? ...... yup that is right. NOTHING.... no one. i have no friends because i cant be open and honest and let people in. i can't allow them to see what my life is really like. not just me, but dude. how can i reveal what burdens i carry when that would involve revealing things about him. about the things that i live with and deal with. so, the point is, now i really don't want to go back to church. i don't want to open up to anyone. but you are writing it here, you say. and yes you are right. but you my friends i cannot see, i don't have to look you in the face. i don't have to see you staring at me thinking what a fool i am.
well, thanks for listening. i just needed to get it out.

Jan. 17th, 2009

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.

Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.

Sometimes this faith can lead to disappointment in the long run.

No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.

Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.

A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.

You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

Writer's Block: Top Dog

What kind of dog (counting mixes and mutts) gets your vote as the champion of dogs?
All of them.  but smaller the better.... but all of them!

Writer's Block: Coast Range

If you had to choose, would you rather live in the mountains or by the ocean?

i love both, but i'd love to live at the ocean. well, maybe the mountains.... i don't know. i love the ocean that is by the trees... like nocal. big sur and that area i don't like beachy places as much, but i do love them. i could do half the year in yosemite and half in capistrano. that is good stuff!
I am Black/Green
I am Black/Green
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.</p>
I am both selfish and instinctive. I value growth and community, as long as they favour my own objectives; I enjoy nature, and I particularly enjoy watching parts of nature die. At best, I am resilient and tenacious; at worst, I'm uncontrollable and destructive.

Of course!
WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names)
fay edwin

NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad )
paul carl

STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name)

DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color, fav animal)
green platypus

SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live)
rose hillsboro

SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav alcoholic drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
the black rusty nail (i spit rusty nails at the bad guys and give them tetannus)

FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)

GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie):
bubblegum lemon snickerdoodle (that sounds more like a porn name)

ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet's name, current street name)
lady cali frances

PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
lizzy beach

thanks cheese.... this i odd.....

Nov. 22nd, 2008

You Are Mashed Potatoes

Ordinary, comforting, and more than a little predictable

You're the glue that holds everyone together.

Writer's Block: Fellow Libras

Bram Stoker, author of Dracula, and Vlad the Impaler, the original Dracula, have the same birthday. Coincidence?

maybe they were the same person!
On my way to the gun store to buy myself some hope!